We Don’t Argue Over Here

I don’t care what anyone says, there is definitely a difference between a disagreement and an argument. You have to look at the context, body language, and tone in order to differentiate the two. Don’t worry, I’m here to break it down for you.

Firstly, let’s get the main definitions out of the way. So to disagree means to “have or express a different opinion” and to argue means to “exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.” It is okay to have a difference of opinion, it is part of life. As humans, not one of us are the exact same. We all have our own point of view on how we see the world. If we all thought alike, I promise you, this world would be the very boring.

Eventually in any relationship, there is going to come a time when the other person disagrees with an opinion you are passionate about. In my personal experience, having a disagreement is way more interesting than completely agreeing. You get to hear a different perspective other than your own. You can actually learn something and then apply that to your own understanding. There have been multiple occurrences when I would have my mind set on an idea and after conversing with an opposing view I was like “Oh Sh*t! That actually makes a lot of sense.”

On the other hand, if you try to argue with me, I’m just going to completely ignore you. Some people make it their mission to be upset. Literally, the day could be going just fine, but they will find an issue. Candidly, I remember growing up surrounded by arguing. My earliest memory was my sixth birthday, and my parents argued the entire day. From that point, my entire adolescence was filled with memories of just fighting and arguing. So I personally made the decision to never engage in that behavior because it’s not something that I want to bring into my adulthood.

We have to ask ourselves, why is there so much rage and anger behind arguments. Yes some disagreements can get heated, but an argument is fueled by such disdain for the opposing view that it becomes a little toxic, if I’m honest. What makes someone feel the need to overpower the other just to get their point across? From my experience, I’d say it forms from adolescence and starts with our parents.

In my previous article, I touched upon a harmful dynamic between parents and children: the negative effect of parents never apologizing and disregarding their children’s feelings. Once those children reach adulthood, all those feelings that were internalized eventually emerge. They want so badly to be heard that they’ll fight tooth and nail for their point to be heard. Some individuals even want to feel the power that they lacked as children so they are always arguing to prove that they are the ones in charge, which again is toxic.

Our job as adults is to self-reflect and learn how to be better than we were before. Learn from your past and create a better future not only for you but for future generations. Disagreements are inevitable in any circumstance and you have to be okay and secure in that. However, arguing should never become a norm in your life. It disrupts your peace and I can guarantee that no one wants to come home, after a long day, to argue.

Maintain your peace and do not engage in arguments.   

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